Aladdin - Stockport Plaza - 07/12/07 by Matthew Berrisford

“It's behind you!” “What is?” “Your career – it's behind you!” Hee-larious.

But seriously, this season, spare a thought for Charles Lawson. Having cut his teeth as wife beater par excellence Jim McDonald in Coronation Street, he's now doing the panto rounds as Abanazar – evil nemesis to a transgendered Aladdin (Rachel Holloway) at the Stockport Plaza.

Panto is, of course, every bit a British tradition as Blackpool, Carry On films and Michael Barrymore. Reassuringly, this year's performance of Aladdin is chock full of crap jokes, innuendo, cross-dressing and generally inappropriate behaviour. (As is Blackpool, Carry On and Michael Barrymore.)

The story is well known and loved: Cheeky scallywag Aladdin gets his collar felt by the autocratic Emperor of Peking for eyeing-up his daughter. To redeem himself, he goes on a mission to retrieve a mythical lamp that offers almighty power, under the direction of Abanazar – one of the Emperor's aides masquerading as Aladdin's long-lost uncle.

Naturally, Jim McDonald ... sorry, Abanazar, plans to use the lamp to usurp the Emperor. But we know that's never going to happen; so throw in a pimped-up jive-talking genie, three wishes, lots of bling, some romance, a few ironic twists and a convenient ending, and you've got yourself a Christmas panto!

The Stockport Plaza must be, hands down, one of the best locations for panto in the country. Seemingly trapped in the heyday of Vaudeville, the venue has everything from up-lit gold velvet curtains to beautifully-crafted watercolour sets and a proper organist to keep the audience entertained as they take their seats. It's great!

That's not to say the show was flawless. Rachel Holloway, as Aladdin, was flat, charmless and consistently struggled to 'work the crowd' – unlike Steve Swift who turned in a solid and reliable performance as the panto dame Widow Twankey. Likewise, Charles Lawson (you know, Jim McDonald) was enjoyably camp as the nefarious Abanazar and was booed-a-plenty.

Particular attention, though, must go to Tam Ryan as Wishee Washee. I've never liked the comic relief in these kind of shows; like a bunch of drug-addled eunuchs, they fart around, pine for the female lead and generally suck-up to the audience. They're akin to those gurning idiots who forcibly shoehorn themselves into family photographs . . . or Ainsley Harriot. Anyway, to my complete horror, Wishee Washee was also a vehicle for a succession of racial slurs.

In one scene, whilst escaping a mob of truncheon-wielding bobbies, Washee adopted a 'classic' Chinese disguise – long-black moustache, over-sized front teeth and bottle-top glasses – and started cracking jokes. (“What do you call a Chinese nappy? Sack-a-Poo-Poo!”) Quite frankly, he may as well have done a slitty-eyes impression and jumped about screaming “Hah-so, hah-so!” like a demented, blacked-up Kato.

But it's only fun, right? A traditional Christmas panto in an authentic panto venue. Just good old-fashioned family entertainment.