Miss Bollywood - Opera House - 5/11/07 by Kashif Naveed

It seems like an age ago when Shilpa Shetty was dominating television screens in this country with her participation in the downfall of Big Brother. Indeed, in the 11 months since her crowning achievement it seems Shilpa has become a woman in demand and the latest venture off her conveyer belt is the intriguing theatre production Miss Bollywood.

Given her background being firmly entrenched on the silver screen, a foray into theatre marks an interesting departure for the Indian star. Brought to you by Farhath Hussain, a theatre impresario with more than two decades experience of putting on such themed productions, Miss Bollywood is not only a compendium of well known choreographed Bollywood classics interwoven with a diluted plot but also a shameless vehicle that hopes to ride on Shetty’s success from this year’s celebrity Big Brother.

Shameless it may be but it is enjoyable in parts. Shilpa’s performance for one, given that she is a veteran of 50 films in the industry it is hardly surprising that she exudes a panache for song and dance that sometimes escapes her fellow conspirators.

Then there is the creative team behind the show that includes star choreographer Ganesh Hegde, whose CV includes the monster smashes Lagaan and Don, and distinguished screenwriter Niranjan Iyengar, who has penned such blockbusters as Khabi Alvida Naa Kehna and Kal Ho Naa Ho. Whilst the choreography and dialogue is sometimes lacking the vibrancy that one would associate with such alumni, it does hit the heights you’d expect, especially in the collection of hits in the finale of the show, which marks out Miss Bollywood for what it truly is.

However, it has been a long time since I left a performance on such a low, so disappointed by what I had witnessed and disheartened at the lack of foresight invested in such a production.

Lets start with the set design, or lack of. Its insipid minimalist look showed the venture for what it was, lacking in vision and idea of what constitutes a complete theatrical show that requires no stone left unturned.

The plot was more pantomime than passionate. There were references to Shilpa’s Big Brother experience and her recent controversy surrounding a peck on the cheek from Richard Gere. The plot was contrived at the best of times and just ancillary to the main objective of the production, which were a few cobbled together song and dance routines that allowed the star of the show to shine. Indeed, the plot betrayed the very essence of what makes Bollywood so great, that is the ability to tell a great story using the combination of drama, song, comedy and every other available dramatic licence known to man.

Even when the production works well you cannot help but feel cheated. It is easy to cherry pick the best of Bollywood songs that are natural crowd pleasers - and there were many that ranged from Jhoom Barabar Jhoom, Kajrare, Maahi Ve and Aaj Ki Raat.

The bloated finale (which seemed to resemble the end of an Indian wedding that had gone on for too long) also hinted at the promise of something that could have delivered so much more.