Something 4 The Weekend by
Because sometimes, films are like buses...
Welcome ladies, gentlemen and film
fans everywhere to entertainment manchester's weekly
feature 'Something for the Weekend'. Every Friday, we
deliver to you the best (and, in the interest of balance,
worst) of this week's new cinematic releases. If, as
Forrest Gump once might have said were he a film fan,
cinema really is like a box of chocolates, then think
of us as your mini-menu, steering you away from the
coffee creams and towards the Turkish delights of the
movie world.
The Big Picture
Flippin' heck. Where'd all these films come from? Hollywood, seemingly intent on making my job difficult, has bestowed upon us not one, not two, not three, but six, yes six films this week. That's so many, I think it needs to be emphasised in a way only block capitals can achieve. SIX FILMS!? Sigh, sometimes I think I need a holiday...
Of course, having six films to preview offers up a difficult decision: what do I make the Big Picture? Being indecisive at the best of times, I don't consider myself up to such a responsibility. So, instead of choosing myself, I'm leaving the tough choice up to Lady Luck (so blame her when it all goes pear-shaped). Here's the plan. There are six films out this week and, coincidentally enough, there are six sides to a dice. In my bid to evade responsibility I shall attribute a number to each one of this week's new releases, roll the dice and see what number it lands on. Simple really. Here are the numbers: Flightplan (1), Mrs Henderson Presents (2), Everything Is Illuminated (3), Exorcism of Emily Rose (4), The Transporter II (5) and finally Mad Hot Ballroom (6). Here goes. Good luck everybody. Roll ‘em…
(Slight pause to build the tension...)
Congratulations The Exorcism of Emily Rose, the fates have thrown forth your number as this week's Big Picture. Uhm, well done.
Being a bit of a wimp, there was a time when I avoided the horror genre like the plague. After all, I reckoned, why bother paying to scare yourself? It's nonsensical I thought. Just watch the X Factor if you want to scare yourself was my belief. But gladly, despite this early reticence, I have now embraced horror films with the kind of over-zealous glee normally reserved for right-wing Americans and now list the likes of Dawn of the Dead and Alien as some of my favourite films.
But still, there is one subgenre of the horror movie that I don't get: demonic films. Sure, Rosemary's Baby works a treat and The Devil's Advocate is brilliantly stupid ("I'm the hand up the Mona Lisa's skirt", indeed) but The Omen is so overcooked it makes George Bush's mentions of the War on Terror look subtle while The Exorcist, for all its pleasing intellectualism, effectively boils down to a highly dubious critique of single parent families. Frankly, films of this nature all too often become reduced to tired and clichéd theological debates which are simply too complex to work on screen. Simple logic dictates that. But when has logic ever stopped Hollywood producers?
The latest demonic film to be spewed forth from the bowls of hell is The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Starring the ever-present Tom Wilkinson, it tells the 'based on true life' tale of Emily Rose (whose real life counterpart is German woman Anneliese Michel). A nice, quiet college girl, she begins displaying some unusual tendencies which some believe to be an illness but Wilkinson's priest believes to be possession. What marks this out from the dubious hearsay of The Exorcist's real-life claim, however, is that after Emily's (Anneliese's) death the priests who attempted to exorcise her were indicted for negligent manslaughter and that case takes up a large proportion of this film.
Of course, films about the devil are fundamentally flawed. We all know that Satan’s greatest trick is convincing the world he doesn't exist. The idea, therefore, of him popping up, possessing some girl with a weedy name like Emily and insulting priests' dead mothers is laughable. As any goth would tell you, he's more cunning than that, manifesting himself as an idiotic lothario named Chico every Saturday night, wooing teenage girls and bored housewives alike with his cheeky chico-ness.
However, The Exorcism of Emily Rose promises something different. It certainly seems true that it'll be far removed from the theatricality of The Omen, displaying as much theological worthiness as jump-out-of-your-seat shocks. But whether or not it can be subtle enough to fuse its shocks and intelligence in the same way The Exorcist did remains to be seen.
Also Playing...
On with the Dice of Doom. Oooooh look it's number 3, Everything is Illuminated. Based on Jonathan Safran Foer's debut novel this is, coincidentally enough, Liev Schreiber’s debut film. If you've seen the trailers or even the garishly coloured poster you'll believe Everything Is Illuminated to be a sunny, funny comedy, as indeed the title suggests. Not so.
Similar to Emily Rose, this is, both book and film, based on real life. After travelling to the Ukraine in 1999 to research his grandfather's life, Foer was so moved that he wrote this novel in which Jonathan, a neurotic American Jew, does something very similar, travelling to the Ukraine in an attempt to find a woman who he believes helped his grandfather escape from the Nazis in World War Two. He is accompanied by Alex, an idealistic local man whose grasp on the English language is tenuous at best, and together they take an epic road trip.
It doesn't exactly sound like a laugh riot, but Foer's writing often flits between sombre realism and surrealist humour in an attempt to draw his readers into emotional journey of the tale and Everything Is Illuminated is no different. Elijah Wood, continuing his bold attempt to avoid post-Frodo typecasting, is a perfect choice for the lead role, being an actor who can convey simultaniously dark and light in the beat of a heart while Manchurian Candidate and Scream star Schreiber is certainly an interesting choice for director. Empire magazine has already placed it in their Top 25 films of the year, while others are giving it very good write ups indeed.
Roll 'em, roll 'em, roll 'em: number 5 - oh dear, The Transporter 2. Hands up who honestly wants a sequel to the Transporter. On the other hand, hands up who's even seen The Transporter. Nobody? Oh what a surprise…
Following on from the first instalment, Part 2 follows Frank Martin (Jason 'oooh aren't I hard' Statham) who has moved to Miami, making a living as a chauffer to the head of a governmental drugs taskforce. Of course, we're all hoping this life lasts and we don't have to see this sequel. But alas, it doesn't and along come some very bad people who kidnap the politician’s son and, sensationally, Frank somehow gets caught up in the plot. Yawn.
Yep, it's more formulaic, dull, action cinema in which Very Hard Men get to prove that they are Very Hard Indeed by beating each other up, not realising that by virtually stripping off and grappling with other, equally scantily clad Hard Men, they are actually indulging in highly homoerotic activity. (Don't tell The Star).
In a bid to counteract this campness, the producers of this sequel have decided to spice things up by throwing in a random female in the shape of Hitch's Amber Valletta who in that film actually looked rather attractive but here looks like a German transexual who's been run over by a dump truck. She plays the villain of the piece and wears very very little indeed. Of course, I haven't yet seen this yet and I shouldn't be too critical. It could be the new Citizen Kane and with Luc Besson's name appearing as screenwriter it's at least sure to have some nice ideas. So maybe it will work...Not convinced? No, nor am I...
Dice time...Number 1: Flightplan with the brilliant Jodie Foster! Hooray! There's no denying that Foster is one of Hollywood's best actresses. A performer with the ability to put in great performance after great performance she can often be the shining light in even the most mediocre of films. She has appeared in a lot of dross, sure, but from classics such as Silence of the Lambs and Taxi Driver to the underrated Panic Room and pleasingly cerebral Contact, she is one of the few actresses to never compromise on what she wants. Hell, she was even in Bugsy Malone and voiced Pugsley Addams in a 70s cartoon version of the Addams Family. And how can you not love a woman like that?
Flightplan, however, is a curious move for Foster. Originally planned for Sean Penn, it is her first film since Panic Room (barring a brief cameo in A Very Long Engagement) and sees a claustophobic plot rather reminiscent of David Fincher's 2002 Hitchcockian homage. It is the story of Kyle Pratt (?!), a woman who, while on a flight back from Berlin to America, loses her child. Understandably a little perturbed (and perhaps fearing a starring role on Parents From Hell) she endeavours to find where her child has disappeared off to, only for the flight staff to tell her the kid was never on the plane to begin with. Du-du-duuuuuuum!
It sounds very similar to something you'd get on The Twilight Zone if Alfred Hitchcock circa-The Lady Vanishes had directed it and arrives between the plane-set duo of Red Eye and Snakes on a Plane (about, well, snakes on a plane). Of course, Foster is sure to be great, but Flightplan seems to be a film whose only hook is its twist and its fate depends on the quality of that twist. Hopefully it will be more Hitchcock than Shyamalan.
More dice: 6, Mad Hot Ballroom. Following on from this month’s Murderball, we now have another documentary but with a rather more sedate name and subject. Mad Hot Ballroom has been dubbed 'this year's Spellbound' and follows the tale of a bunch of twinkle-toed New York elementary school kids who compete in a city wide dance competition.
And that's it really, there's nothing more to it than that. But then again, there was nothing more to Spellbound than a bunch of kids trying to spell or to Super Size Me than a bloke eating more than his fair share of Big Mac and Fries. It's sure to be an interesting and cute insight into a slice of life rarely seen and, if that doesn't float your boat, it'll probably have a load of pushy American parents shouting at their kids from the sidelines. Which is always a good thing.
Which all means that now I must put the Magical Dice of Doom away as Mad Hot Ballroom's selection leaves us with but one film – Mrs Henderson Presents. This period piece may have a stuffy sounding title but is in fact about nudity!
Laura Henderson was an influential figure in London theatre being the woman who first introduced nude revues during World War II. Starring Bob Hoskins and Judi Dench, this film follows her tale and explores what motivated her to make such a move. It co-stars Will Young and Hoskins gets his wanger out too, so you might want to exercise caution in your decision to see it. But with the always watchable Dench, it's sure to be worth a look. Just look away when Hoskins, uhm, shows himself...
NEXT WEEK: I find out Where The Truth Lies, make my finest attempt at Keeping Mum and run as fast as I can from Doom. I’ve got a horrible feeling it’s going to catch up with me though…
|
